})i({ So what if I'm infatuated. })i({

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 03:13:26 GMT

9 days old.. yay!

Apparentally I'm a good mommy. And this surprises my mother, lol.

HotDog [yes, that's her nickname] has been a great baby! Very attached to me though. Not that I mind.

Had some problems with her being constipated a couple of days ago.. She seems fine now. Was probably just her adjusting from Similac to Isomil. She weighed in at 7lbs4oz on Sunday, now she's a whopping 7lbs 12oz. I'm going to have a chubby little baby! Even though she's this skinny little thing. She drinks anywhere from 2-6 oz a feeding.. Every 3-4 hrs.

I had a bad allergic reaction to the Cipro so I stopped taking it. I waited the 48 hrs so it was out of my system before trying to breastfeed again, and I now officially hate my OB =]. HotDog would *not* latch on to my nipple. I tried for an hour and she just cried the whole time so I gave in and gave her a bottle. I then cried. My OB could have given me any number of antibiotics that I could have breastfed with. Ugh.

I'm officially down 32 lbs from the weight I was when I gave birth. I'm hoping to keep losing. I should, I eat healthy now. I'm down 12 lbs from my pre pregnancy weight too. To get to the lowest weight I was when pregnant, I only need to lose 15 more lbs.

HotDog will NOT sleep in her bassinette on her back or side. She has to sleep in the bed with me, but she sleeps in the Boppy, propped up. She's also a stomach sleeper. If she lays flat she has to be on her stomach or else she won't sleep. I'm very thankful I got that sound and motion monitor for the baby shower. On the rare occasion that she will sleep in the bassinette, that comes in handy. She also will not sleep unless I'm near her.. Usually she won't fall asleep unless I'm holding her. It's okay though.. I love her to death so I'm not letting anything bother me.

Usually I have to wake her up for feedings. She stirs a little and lets me know it's time, but I have to wake her up after I get the bottle and everything. She's a good baby..

And I'm a very happy mommy.

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 02:03:15 GMT

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 13:48:01 GMT

Okay. Sigh.

Got out of an ice cold shower yesterday because I was sweating my balls off. Walked down the hall into my room in a towel, and went to sit down. Blacked out. Like.. totally out. Don't know how long I was down for, no one else was home. Finally got up with a pounding headache and got dressed. Called my aunt and asked her to take me to the ER.. She called my mom [after me telling her NOT to because I didn't want to worry my mom] and then left. Mom called me back 'What the hell happened!?!' So I had to explain that whole thing to her. She said not to leave with my aunt, just to have her sit with me and that she would be right home. So she gets home and calls the dr.. dr asks a bunch of questions about was I dehydrated, did I eat anything today, that kind of stuff, and then tells me to come in. Mind you, the whole time I'm shaking so bad I can barely hold on and I can't keep myself steady to save my life. So we go to the hospital, everyone thought I was in labor because I couldn't stand up straight on my own and I was clinging to my mother's arm. So we get to the drs office, they do my blood pressure- 160/90. Do my weight the best they can with me being unsteady, another 4 lbs weight gain in a week. So they take me back to the room and have me lay on my left side. I started throwing up.. So much fun! Dr comes in, wants me to go to L&D for ANOTHER preeclampsia lab and to be monitored for a while. Then she does an internal. Says my cervix is still posterior and still closed tightly. Then up to L&D we go. They finally did my labs and got the results and all of that fun stuff. The dr comes in *6* hours later and truly breaks my heart.

'If your cervix were ripe, we would induce you now and you'd have a baby early tomorrow morning sometime. But it's not and if we tried to induce you now you'd be in labor for days and then we'd end up doing a c section.'

So I got sent home with Fioricet for my headaches because if any of you have had HBP headaches you know how badly they kill. My next appt's on Thursday, so I'm hoping my cervix is ripe enough for them to induce so I can have a baby by my due date. Even if it's not ripe enough, induce me, let me go 18 hrs of labor, then do a c section. My head hurts *way* too much because of this blood pressure.. and it's all because of the baby. Not that it's her fault or anything.

39w2d.

Fri, 28 May 2004 23:50:47 GMT

Wow did I have an emotional breakdown this morning.

I was exhausted and emotional and the cat was on top of my dresser. She spilled a bowl of cereal that was on there so I pushed her off the dresser crying that I hated her and that I couldn't put up with her ruining my life like that [I don't even know].. Well when I pushed her off the dresser she landed funny I guess.. and hurt her leg. She was all limping so I picked her up and took her downstairs crying about how bad I felt and I had my mom look at her leg.. It was fine. So I bring her back up here and hugged her and told her I loved her and all of that stuff. I put her down on the bed and she started limping really badly like she couldn't walk on her leg and she wouldn't put any weight on it and when I went to pick her up to take her downstairs again she let out that 'I'm hurt dont touch me!' meow. I ran downstairs hyperventilating and bawling my eyes out and I couldn't breath and my mom came up here and the cat let her look her over and all of that fun stuff.. Apparentally she was just mad at me and wanted to make me feel like crap because when I came back up here she was playing with the other cat running around and stuff. I'm just so emotional today.. it sucks. When's labor coming?

Fri, 28 May 2004 23:11:07 GMT

"If there is one person you can't stop thinking about, post this same exact sentence in your journal"

Thu, 27 May 2004 11:25:35 GMT

I want my baby.

Wed, 26 May 2004 08:42:32 GMT

Michelle:
You want to be productive and feel useful, and enjoy helping solve problems. You like to be busy and not waste time. You are relatively demonstrative in your affections. You enjoy being stroked verbally and physically. You are clever, inventive, imaginative and youthful. You enjoy socializing. You work hard to achieve material success through your own efforts. You can be quite inventive and quite curious. You have a diplomatic flair to your nature. Equality and fairness are important to you. You must learn the lessons of self-worth; learn to love yourself before you can love others. You need to learn to be expressive. You are a person who cannot tolerate being misunderstood.

Amanda:
You are adventurous with a tendency to be foolhardy. You are aggressive and definitely have leadership abilities. You need to learn when to let go. You have a need to be up front. You can handle details well. You have a methodical mind. You have a discriminating nature coupled with perseverance and family pride. You have a need to be up front.

My last name:
You can be quite inventive and quite curious. There is a need to learn to evaluate family ties properly. You have high aspirations and a cheery disposition. You have a need to be up front. You enjoy a challenge. You can take thought-directed actions. There is a need to learn to evaluate family ties properly. You try to be prudent. You have good business acumen.

Hm. I dont know.

Wed, 26 May 2004 07:31:30 GMT

Sigh. No baby, no dilation, no nothing.

Was sent to L&D today because my BP was high [big shock!!]. Put on *strict* bedrest on my left side. Fun fun. I get the feeling I'm not popping until 42wks.

Mon, 24 May 2004 23:36:37 GMT

Some fucking people are just so sick.

I'm not even posting the link because it made me cry.

Who posts pics of their stillborn baby online?

Sun, 23 May 2004 20:24:07 GMT

Sometimes I really *really* hate hospitals. What kind of hospital doesn't have manual blood pressure cuffs?

I was at work with my mom yesterday.. I hadn't slept since 10:30p Friday night [and even then it was only an hour of sleep I got], so I went into her office and sat on the floor, laying my head on a chair. Started to get a really bad headache so I layed on the floor, on my left side. It felt like my brain exploded and they were trying to put a nail through the top center of my forehead. So I got up and walked across the nursing home to where my mom was.. almost passed out once, fell over twice because I was so dizzy. Got to where my mom was and she looked at me and said 'holy crap, sit down'.. One of the other RNs on the floor used to be a labor and delivery nurse and she asked where it hurt and I told her, and she said 'take her blood pressure'. She went back over to behind the desk and handed my mom a blood pressure cuff. My mom got 150/100. She handed a different blood pressure cuff to the one nurse that used to be a L&D nurse and said 'check it, maybe i'm wrong' without telling her what she got. The other nurse checked it and said 'call her dr'.. so my mom asked her what she got and she said 154/100. Mom then called ANOTHER nurse up to the floor and had her check my blood pressure.. This 3rd nurse didn't know that anything was wrong to begin with, so she checked and her jaw just dropped. She got 156/100. Mom called the dr and while on the phone with the dr, had nurse #3 check again in the other arm.. She got 162/100 that time. The dr told me to get to L&D ASAP. So we leave, and we get to L&D and I change and all of that fun stuff, and the nurse checks my BP with the computer thingie.. 114/50. It's *not* possible that my blood pressure, in 15 minutes, shoots from extremely high to that low. So the nurse did it again. It reads 111/34. Which would pretty much mean I was dying. Nurse thought nothing of it. Had me sit on the monitor for a half hour, then was like 'okay, I called the dr and told her your BP's fine, you can leave.' Then my mom was like.. 'wait, check it manually.. I don't think that's right.' The nurse gave my mother a cocky look and was like 'you don't trust the machine?' and my mom said she didn't because there's no way 3 RNs could have gotten the wrong BP on 2 different arms with 2 different cuffs without knowing the other's reading.. The nurse said 'well let me check if we even HAVE a manual cuff.' and leaves. Comes back 5 minutes later with my discharge papers.. 'We don't have any manual cuffs. Now if you could sign here please....' So we signed and left and went home instead of back to my mom's work. So we get home and my mother has a portable electronic BP cuff and we did it on that when we got home... 152/91. So my mom did it again manually. 152/112. Mom had a friend come over about 45 minutes later and do the reading and it lowered slightly to 146/82, then again in 15 minutes it was 142/84, so I just went upstairs and layed down and ended up falling asleep.. But honestly.. If something would have happened.. Ugh. My blood pressure today is semi down.. 136/90.. But it's usually 114/72.. It's driving me crazy.. The nurse didn't even try to switch arms, and she didn't do it manually.. so the machine had to have been off.. I don't know. I'm just hoping nothing goes wrong anymore.. I've got 2w left..

37w6d

Thu, 20 May 2004 01:32:13 GMT

br0ken_dreamerx

Replace the [ ] with the respective arrows :P

[font color=yourusername][b]yourusername[/b][/font]

Thu, 20 May 2004 01:16:48 GMT

I'm going to bold what's true out of this. At least what's true for me.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave
and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to
console others. Too generous
and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty
for praises.
Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when
provoked. Easily jealous.
Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts. Loves
to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in
the arts, music and
defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance
against illnesses. Learns
to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and
caring. Loves to make
friends .

What does your birth month say about you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Tue, 18 May 2004 09:07:24 GMT

And I felt huge at 31w?
It's like holy crap.
And *now* you can tell she's dropped.

31w1d belly.
37w1d belly.

Tue, 18 May 2004 08:06:07 GMT

I know. I'm bitching and moaning. But I'm fkn sick!

Cramping up pretty badly.. Regularly.. 30-40 mins apart. No where near close enough yet.

Nausea and vomiting.. regularly.. every 30-40 minutes. See a pattern?

Now on top of all of this I've got heartburn. I can't breath cuz I'm so stuffed up. I'm coughing my lungs up, which is giving me a headache. Labor's supposed to be FUN /end sarcasm.

I want to just be done with this. Do I really have to sit out 20 more days?

Mon, 17 May 2004 05:13:37 GMT

Someone make me pop, please?

I'm so fkn sick right now.. and I don't feel like describing what happened.. I just want her out.

-37 wks-

Sun, 16 May 2004 03:01:49 GMT

My mouth hurts. I haven't worn my retainers recently cuz I'm sick and all I do is take them out in the middle of the night cuz I can't stop coughing. I've got an orthodontist appt on Monday, too. Which means I need to wear them at least 24 hours before hand so I don't get yelled at for only wearing them at night. Blah.

I want to go into labor. Real soon. I love my Oreo to death.. But I hate having her inside of me anymore. Especially with me being sick. I want her out so I can hug her and hold her and just be able to see her.. I keep trying to will my water to break but it's not working, lol.

Oh, and just because I know some of you care.. After we come home from the hospital, I'm bottle feeding her with breastmilk. That way she's getting the breastmilk, but not limited to me feeding her. I still have to pack a bag. That might just end up waiting until I actually go into labor. But yeah.. I'm gunna go hop in a bath-shower.. Hoping my water breaks. -sigh- I couldn't be so lucky.

Oh, and Oreo is a spoiled little brat. I nicknamed Aakailya Oreo because of obvious reasons [she's half african.. don't take it racially though, please..] but yeah.. that's not the point. I was laying on my side on the loveseat and my 7lbs cat came up to me and layed on my side. Almost instantly Oreo started kicking him and wouldn't let up, at all. She was kicking to the point that it was visible through the cat. He wouldn't get up though. I don't think Oreo was squished, because she kicks the fetal monitors when they go on, and they aren't even on that tightly.. She just doesn't like anything touching her Mama.

My appts for this week:

Monday - Ortho
Tuesday- OB, then breastfeeding class
Wednesday- GI
Thursday- Nothing *yet*
Friday.. Pedicure and nails filled in.. I need to get them cut down, big time, before Oreo's born. Cut down and tips done a different color. I'm debating whether or not to go bright..

Oh lovely. I feel like I live in the city. A bunch of girls out front, can't be any older than 15, pretty much just standing on the corner. Heh.

K I'm leaving now.

Fri, 14 May 2004 23:58:16 GMT

Got a little.. overcooked. Update later.. exhausted now.

Fri, 14 May 2004 01:59:31 GMT

Test results are for the most part normal. Therefore I am off of bedrest. Which meannns.. I'm going to Wildwood tomorrow!

So happy. I'm ignoring the fact that I have strep throat and no clue where I got it from. They have me on penicillin, fun fun. OB thought I was crying because I kept sniffling, then she looked at my throat and saw little white plaque thingies in the back and wrote me up a prescription.

I'm gonna go to bed to see if I can't get rid of this headache and sniffles before tomorrow morning.. Will update with pics and all tomorrow night. <3

Thu, 13 May 2004 17:53:23 GMT

Blah.. my pre-eclampsia results aren't back yet.. Hopefully they'll be back by my appt at 4.. if not I'm going cry.. I just hate not knowing.

And I'm sick now. I must have touched something that someone with a cold touched and it mutated overnight.. Cuz I'm sicker than a dog right now.. Woke up at 2 something this morning with a little cough.. Now it's almost 12 hours later and I can't talk.. my glands are so swollen.. I've got an appt with the dr tomorrow as long as nothings up today. Lovely lovely.

Well.. that's about it for now?

Thu, 13 May 2004 02:15:07 GMT

Bedrest bites biiig balls.

I'm stuck in bed until we find out if it's actually pre-eclampsia or not. Not allowed out or annnnything. So boring =x

Mom checked my b/p this afternoon, was 138/76.. then she came in and checked after I layed down for a while and it was still 135/70.

I get the results of my blood tests tomorrow.. And I have to go get blood drawn tomorrow, too. I'm guessing if my blood tests show signs of pre-eclampsia I'll be in the hospital tomorrow after my drs appt? I don't exactly know. I should have my bag together just in case anyways...

Clovis is thinking up a list of Disney songs and stuff for me to listen to while in labor. Lol fun fun.

I'm gunna go now.. <3

Wed, 12 May 2004 00:10:25 GMT

Went to drs today. Fun fun.

Cervix is closed, buuuuutt...

My blood pressure was 140/70, then 130/72. I've got protein in my urine. I've been needing my glasses more often, but even with them I still can't read some things. I've been getting pretty bad headaches recently. So.. they tested me for pre-eclampsia [spelling?].. Had blood tests done, have to do a 24 hr urine collection, then on Thursday I go back for MORE blood tests. Tomorrow or Thursday I find out the results of the tests I had today.

Fun fun!

Dr said I've got a good chance of having it, only mildly though.

Someone get this baby out of me!

Mon, 10 May 2004 03:02:41 GMT

Woo.. 36 weeks in a little over an hour. Full term.. so happy.

Okay who wants to be notified when the baby's born? Email me with a phone number and times you can be called if you want to: br0kendreamerx@yahoo.com

If you live close enough I'll call you after she's born so you can come up and see her if you'd like. If not, you can just wait for an update on here, I guess, although I don't know how long after she's born it'll take to get up.

I know, I still have a possibility of 6 weeks left, but now that I'm full term I wanna get everything ready.

As far as labor guesses go.. We've got alot from family.. I'm hoping she makes an appearance this week. May 13th [5lbs7oz].. If I'm wrong, oh well.

♥ Aakailya Francesca ♥

Mon, 10 May 2004 00:46:20 GMT

Happy Mama's Day to all of you Mamas and Mamas-to-be.

Sat, 08 May 2004 04:31:12 GMT

Well yesterday was fun.

Was really bored most of the day. Then I got the balls to call Johnny and see if he was busy/bored. Ended up making plans and stuff. Went to see Godsend. I liked it.. He didn't so much, but that's okay. He got a good laugh out of me jumping because of unexpected things in the movie. Then we came back here and talked for a while and stuffings then slept. Woke up like 1ish this afternoon. He left around 4 I guess.. Went to pick up his laptop but I guess it wasn't ready? Dunno. Buttt.. then I went out with my mommy and we got our nails done and eyebrows waxed.. Some little girl that couldn't have been any older than 8 said to her sister when I moved out of earshot [my mom was still there].. 'Is that girl fat or pregnant?' and her sister laughed and was like 'i can't tell'. I'm almost 9 mths pregnant.. That just seriously makes me want to cry. I don't know. I'm just emotional.. And Sunday's cake and stuff for Dilly and Franki.. yay! K.. I'm hungry and tired soo.. <3

Wed, 05 May 2004 21:29:34 GMT

Okay. We got the crib up, and the bassinet's laying right next to my bed. Now I just need to find space for everything *else*.

Still have *no* idea if I'm going down the shore on Friday or not. I hope so.. Mom still wants to wait until Memorial day, but I don't want to wait. I'm so spoiled.

I wanna do something tonight but there's no one to do anything with. I guess I'll go bother my mommy..